Some time ago I heard a priest recounting his experience whilst doing missionary work in Asia.
It was Christmas, and his parishioners wanted to present him with a special gift. Being at a loss about choosing something that he would really appreciate, two villagers volunteered to approach him and ask him “point-blank” what it was that he would really like.
Having been in that country for a number of years, the priest was sorely missing the taste of blue cheese, which incidentally was his favourite. The problem was that in that part of the world, blue cheese is not looked upon as a very palatable food.
When these villagers confronted the priest with their dilemma, he had no hesitation in answering that what he would really appreciate most, was a small slice of blue cheese !
The villagers were astounded and incredulous. How could anyone ask for that as a special gift ! Yahh !
This is precisely my on-going experience with God. Every day I pray that He would show me what He would like from me ………. but invariably, I have precise notions what His request should be.
When, recently I retired from a long career in banking, I had a clear idea what He would like from me. In fact I had dreamt about it all through my working life. I was determined to devote my time working with people with special needs.
I started off with a lot of enthusiasm from day one of my retirement. I sent out various letters explaining my disposition to embark on such work and, sincerely, I was earnestly expecting a rush of replies indicating that they would take up my offer.
Weeks passed, then months. I got replies: “no sorry, we only employ female staff to do that work”, “we would gladly take you on but you don’t have the right qualifications”. Other applications were not answered.
Eventually, I contented myself doing voluntary manual work, that took me nowhere in sight of anyone with special needs, and spent most of my time doing painting jobs.
As time went by, I slipped out of this activity on various pretexts and, instead, took up part-time clerical work.
I had failed miserably. I was a complete failure! What happened to all those good intentions?
Lately I found myself reflecting on this predicament during Mass. The reading was from Isaiah and related to God’s calling of the prophet. Immediately it all became so very clear. Even the Gospel speaks of the blind, the lame, the deaf, the sick… but, in reality, the Lord was telling me that if I look around I would see people who are spiritually sick, maimed, hurt. Just as I can see a spiritually lame person by looking at the mirror!
I had pictured myself as being called to care for people with special physical needs when, in fact, there were scores of people all around me with broken lives waiting for someone who would help them on their feet by proclaiming to them the Good News.
The Lord was telling me quite clearly that He thought I had the right qualifications for the job: for I also, was broken and hurt and had made a real mess of my life trying to ease this pain through countless worldly remedies: pornography, theft, adultery ,..
Yes, I believe that the Lord’s message has now come through loud and clear. His will and His Way are rather different from what I had imagined.
All right Lord, I’ll put aside my childish dreams and come down to earth. I will simply live my normal life resting in the knowledge that you will take care to put people with “special needs” right across my path. Then I will be able to share with them the greatness of your love that was able to embrace a poor sinner such as me.
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